Calories

I thought you would enjoy this:
It has been known for many years that Sex was good exercise, but until now nobody had made a scientific study of the calorie content of different sexual activities. Now after “original and proprietary” research the results are in:
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent………………………….12 Calories
Without her consent……………………..2187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands…………………………..8 Calories
With one hand……………………………12 Calories
With your teeth…………………………485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection………………………….6 Calories
Without an erection…………………….3315 Calories
PRELIMINARIES:
Trying to find the clitoris…………………8 Calories
Trying to find the G-Spot……………….4092 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary………………………………..12 Calories
69 lying down…………………………….78 Calories
69 standing up…………………………..812 Calories
Wheelbarrow……………………………..216 Calories
Doggy Style……………………………..326 Calories
Italian chandelier………………………2912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real……………………………………112 Calories
Fake…………………………………..1315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging…………………………………………..18
Calories
Getting up immediately……………………………………….36
Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately………..816 Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years………………………………36 Calories
30-39 years………………………………80 Calories
40-49 years……………………………..124 Calories
50-59 years…………………………….1972 Calories
60-69 years…………………………….7916 Calories
70 and over…………………………Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly…………………………………..32 Calories
In a hurry……………………………….98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door………5218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door……..13,521 Calories
How many calories are you burning?!